Pressed (poem)

Still, realizing real life pauses are important.

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My mind speaks

“We can never represent it accurately”

My hand is pressed, cold palm to forehead

My fingers nestle deep in warm hair,

curve their nails lightly into my scalp

like waves of the ocean, brush by the tides.

But my eyes pause,

draw themselves closed, clothed, contorted overload of the land.

light, too bright, when I remember outside is night.

New moon, too soon leaves the room

slides by, hides, so sly.

Not I.

Sulk, slack, sit unseen.

Impressed with yourself for not wearing Maybelline.

It’s so obscene, you’re so damn lean.

Forgotten serenity, the entity of totality, til I’m almost ill.

Still, realizing real life pauses are important.

Pen poised, patient, prepared for the perfect timing to touch the paper,

to express a thought worth thinking (doesn’t happen a lot)

inking, indecodable, quotable quips.

Quick trip for some, an “oh yes, fun” then they “have to run”

always jump the gun… not saying I’m never one but what do they do once they are done?

I’d want a refund, but realize I refused to retrain my brain to refrain so I’d abstain~

Written 2002, Dec. 10th

 

Meaning (poem)

sadly structures rarely represent realistically

repeating rhythms

shaping sounds

making metaphors

 

sadly structures

rarely represent realistically

 

most meaning whittled away

with words

well intended

and poorly placed

 

*refound, written in 2001.

Whirling (poem)

…as I dive, derive, arrive again.

whirling

wheeled by a feeling

fresh unrest undressed

decompressed

dealing with etched out eroded bones

bursting with unburdening, done.

Dovelike tail spins, spun

as I dive, derive, arrive again.

Tho I shutter with shivers unuttered, I don’t stutter but

become unfettered, refeathered

free

The flesh of this fish (poem)

From the moment I felt too close to you

Blushing at touching

Overlapping and apologizing

There was no denying

As we were filleting

More than the flesh of this fish was

Going to be exposed.

Because your eyes on me

Made me fumble

I was jumbling words

and stumbling for sentences

Everything got slippery

Scales shifted

You showed me the way

And made me try it for myself.

 

 

(I liked it.  Even if I don’t remember how to do it again in the future.)

(artwork by me in Notan Printmaking tradition)

170221 Observe Others: Creative Exercise

…you could also imagine who these people might be and create characters for them, which seems like a great exercise for people who want to be better writers. Because lets be honest, some of the things people say would be hard to imagine. Having real life examples seems like a great starting point.

Interior Alaska in the winter time is not the easiest place to try to carry out the exercise challenge on page 50 of Tharp’s book The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life.  She wants you to go out some place in public and write down twenty actions that occur between two people.  Then she says to try the exercise again but this time only write down the things you find interesting.  She says by applying judgement to a situation we become more selective.  Also that looking at what you wrote down and left out in both trials can teach you more about how you see the world.  She says if repeated patterns will emerge, and not the world, but your self will be revealed.

So on Tuesday evening I went to the busiest place I could thing of that might have some action, where I could also have my computer and not seem nosey.  I had to adapt the exercise some because I couldn’t necessarily see all the people around me, but I could hear a number of different groups of people interacting over a span of time.  What you read below is not necessarily sequential, but as many fragments as I could catch of their conversations.  I think it is also including part two in a way because I could only focus on one thing at a time, so I must have naturally had to select the most interesting thing at the moment to attend to.  Tharp says after doing this exercise you could also imagine who these people might be and create characters for them, which seems like a great exercise for people who want to be better writers.  Because lets be honest, some of the things people say would be hard to imagine.  Having real life examples seems like a great starting point.

Ok here’s what I picked up over a few hours:

(Meeting of young mothers)

“I’m not going to tell her we met, she would just feel bad.”

“I feel a weight is lifted.”

“I put in faith prayer and it was the second thing that came up.”

child “No I want to…” Mom: “ok, ten, five?” (Child goes to hide under the chair)

“Mom I’m ready”

“Where’s Andy?  No, no, no…(mom looking under chairs) Yes!”

Other younger child goes under the chair and says “count to three, four” mom starts looking, “no, no, yes!”

Is she on big skis now?

Last time I’m asking you.  We can do it the hard way.  Come’on children lets go out the door.

 

(Group of young college guys: later saw they were playing video games)

Oh my GoD! I have whiplash.

You guys have to stand so Sean isn’t taller than you.  Later guys

We did it!  Whoooo, oh man, so close, why do you do this to me?

It was me, you were attacking me.  Whoa, god dammit, whooa laughter, lets go.  Dammit.  laughter, lets go.. Top ten animated…….   kill him, kill him.

I’m still alive.  I killed you, it was siiiiick.

He thought it was person who.. Who down in whoville.  Oyea, oyea, WOW.  whatwow, ya dare me to?  laughing…  64 character… dr. Mario.  Love him.  So you’re wrong.. why are you playing that?  Get, go away.   (Laughing) I got saved by a cloud.  I’m trying, I’m trying too hard.  ok wait.  it has to happen, once it hits two of them.  …dark mess.  Player four.

you’re dead.  ok I gotta go.  Vanish, vanished.  See you guys later.  Ok.  That damn mask.  Of course they attacked him.  not why.  Fuck. on you, rage, f in rage.

I can’t get a character I don’t know and can’t use for a third time, can I, really?  Hey, be thankful you aren’t sonic.  Yeah go ahead try.  WWE   Rock hawk.  Rock hawk rocks the stage.  I don’t like anyone who’s fast.  You don’t like Sonic even though you’re the one who trained Eric.  Ok. Alright, this is your biggest comeback in the entire world.  We’ve seen a …. reverse, but will we see another one today?  Just do what I do when I have problems…. how embarassing.  (Laughing)  Yeah you just realized.  Jesus Christ.  Right?  Wrong?  oh, no.  I hope I got jilted.  Up the mega coupa.  God I’m hit.  I don’t want to have to make this comeback again.  It’s rated G what did you expect?

He just killed his own son, is he proud?
Yea you did something.  Fricken smash santa claus.  Sh==  fricken lone wolf.  Everybody

 

 

(Guy and girl watching a movie and eating, both eating.)

G: Want me to go get our stuff?  B: Ok (guy continues watching alone)  G: I asked for whip cream B: Ok  G: Here you go. later.  Girl giggles loud, guy’s on phone.    “I’m supposed to be the red ranger” (fighting movie) shields. Girl: “He does say red and later he says he supposed to be blue.  I wonder if when they filmed this they just wore suits and said…”

 

(Group of older women)

“That’s from that book”  My phone will just up and call someone, does your phone do this? Or it will be about to call someone.

I try I try every day.  Hey, you’re there.  Alright we’ll see.

(some leave and one woman calls her child)

“Hi is  this a good time?  ok, good. Those bloody noses. No its just…  This person…. what I’m saying is basically what I’m saying is dad has real strong feelings about so he tells you those suggestions, we can’t help ourselves.  Whatever you feel is gonna work, you have different goals and know what is gonna work.  He’s willing to step back.  You’re always going to be getting a little advice, you just gotta do your own thing, what you know is right.  Caroline had a different dream and she wanted to be in Montana so she did it.  You’re gonnna find your path, and you’ll show us what it is and say see this is working.  You gotta take the things that go along with that life. If that’s the way you’ve found to provide for your self. I think the biggest down side is, when you have a job you get up at 7 and go.  When you are working for yourself you have to have the discipline to sit down and do it.  And a job makes you go, you know?

I’m by myself, I’m by myself.  But. (pause)

It’s just hard for him, it’s the difference between who you are.  It’s hard for him to see things different than him.

right,  right,

Don’t worry about it, take your time and make the right decision.  I’m not worried about it.  In my prayers just pray about it. hope you come out sometime.

(Conversation with child ends and I realize there’s still another woman there with her.  The one who was on the phone says to the other lady:)

Sorry, right at the point where he’s job hunting again.  hope he takes his time and finds something good.  they’re not hard steps.  No. (she leaves with one other older lady)

 

 

 

 

170216 Magnetic Poetry

Internal gifts of moments
stretch through you
from time to forever
to never again.

I will also write out my refrigerator poetry by the pictures, since sometimes I can’t find all the words I want to use.  To learn more about the beginning of this process for me visit the first of my magnetic poetry posts.  For more poetry posts visit Poetry under the Projects tab of this site.

This first one encompasses the first four pictures so I will transcribe it here:

Internal gifts of moments

stretch through you

from time to forever

to never again.

And every minute is a deposit,

a correspondence,

an order to rebel against the faithless swarm

who are beaten and lost.

You are the one

who can remind them

that power lives in moments,

real and imagined.

img_6658img_6657img_6662img_6660

 

This next poem had a few different endings and includes the next three pictures:

vanish

and

appear

amid the stars

in the midnight sky

nearby.

flood me

with the right

soft

search

light

that i may see

my

destiny.

img_6665img_6666img_6668

 

and the last one for this round is simple:

ask the absurd

supply the response

img_6653

170213 Twenty Questions: Creative Exercise

She talks about da Vinci and his ability to observe and question so many aspects of his current issue of interest.

On page 176 of The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life, Tharp encourages people to be thorough.  She talks about da Vinci and his ability to observe and question so many aspects of his current issue of interest.  Tharp invites us to write down twenty questions that we have about a topic before beginning an investigation.  She says whether you are preparing for anything…from a drawing or to a film and more forming questions can help you to cultivate a sense of purpose and understanding.  I think it can also maybe help me to engage with my own mind about what it wants, or to challenge me to think more deeply.

The first challenge I see is to decide what I am interested in writing twenty questions about.  I feel there needs to be some sort of exercise to get me to a place where I’m ready for this exercise.  Since that is not provided I will have to try to sort this out myself…So at this point you may want to scroll down a ways to where I’m over this hump, move on to a different post or join my pain as I contemplate some possible topics:

Possible topics…  book I want to write about (sleep, water, two worlds)

spin dance study… ok that was easier than I thought, I am actually really interested in both those avenues and that took me less than 5 minutes to think up.

I will choose the Book for twenty questions to get me started into the creative process

  1. What will you name the sleep side?
  2. How will you identify the villains?
  3. What have they done that is so heinous?
  4. Will there be elements that braid the two worlds together?
  5. What can pass through the layer? Why?
  6. Is there a limit on extra senses for the sleep world?
  7. Is each person the only one with that ability or can it be held by multiple people or are some traits singular and others more mundane and wide spread?
  8. How can sleep be stolen?  Water?
  9. How can this be made more relevant and relatable to today’s world?
  10. Is there are more important factor that should be addressed instead?
  11. What is the main goal of the protagonists?
  12. What is the main goal of the antagonists?
  13. Is there a middle ground?
  14. Do we at times get to see things from both perspectives?
  15. Do we get personal with both sides?
  16. What kinds of messages should be sent?
  17. How soon are duel personalities revealed..if ever?
  18. Which characters are aware of their flip side presence?
  19. How do I make sure it isn’t cheesy?
  20. HOw do I make it realistic?

In a way I like this idea of presenting questions, but then in a way it is overwhelming too.  As I pile up the questions before me that need to be answered I feel further from my goal because I see more to do.  I guess it is also a starting point and I can try to tackle something once it has been named.  Perhaps on another day I can use my creative time to start to design possible solutions to some of these questions. This exercise took me 20-40 minutes.

170202 my Magnetic Poetry

Tangled in this skin, I break the center and mend destiny, until my way is silent and strong as whole healing light.

To learn more about the start of this project visit Magnetic Poetry Creations post.  Today I cut up some new magnets I made and added some more old ones I made to the fridge.  I want to test and see if I can create worthwhile poetry anytime or if there’s a certain mood I need to be in.  I like a few of the pieces I created here, but still too soon to tell.  Again I will transcribe below each photo. img_6476

Tangled in this skin

I break the center and mend destiny

until my way is silent and strong as whole healing light.

 

img_6477

life inserted choices around her

 

img_6482

Just whisper the last full words

Terminal tradition,

living with death,

rejoice against disease,

a thing unto itself.

For all roots date back to a chance existence (other word choice for existence=beginning)

Complicated and pure,

in pleasure and repose.

 

img_6485

enough said.

 

img_6486

clear.

 

img_6478

Do you earn life?

Walking ions innovating instantly.

 

img_6484

Decisions must pay for their distinct shadows.

 

img_6480

can our will be better?

 

img_6481

Power calls every knife to action.

 

img_6483

Embrace wise, gentle contradiction

 

img_6479

People are for being.

170131 Magnetic Poetry Creations

Light your lamp like the never blind divine, unleash history before time.

Once upon a time I started making my own magnetic poetry pieces.  I bought small sheets of magnet that were sticky on one side and started cutting out words from magazines that were colorful, interesting font or just words that weren’t cutesy or erotic as most of the store bought magnetic poetry sets are limiting.  I move a lot so I don’t always have time to set it up on every fridge in my life.  But when I do, I tend to use it time to time.  I have lost most of the record of these creations, but I’m going to try to start gathering them here.  So here are a few that I made recently and just found the photo-evidence of.

Sometimes the words are close, but not exactly what I’m thinking, so I will write the poem out next to the picture.

Here is the poem to match the lead photo:

Written in Columbia Falls MT Oct. 2016

Adventurous girl,

prepare tomorrow.

Ignite the song,

lucid heart candle.

Light your lamp

like the never blind divine,

unleash history

before time.

img_5728

A minute (my newt) star appears

Before vanishing near

Our memory of moments and dreams

img_0467

be irratic,

truth is beyond skin

choose.

notice.

no thresholds on love.

Actually, what?

just discover.

img_0477be truth beyond skin, discover what you love.