Woolen Slippers

I donated my old slippers because I didn’t like wearing them. I also thought I had a pair waiting for me at my other house. But when I journeyed there this weekend, found none and felt a faint tingle in the back of my mind, “oh yes, I donated them too because I didn’t love them”.  I am trying to get better about shooing things out of my life that I don’t heartily enjoy. This new habit I’m trying to form has left me slipperless.

Shopping is fairly torturous to me, I avoid rambling around looking for things. I don’t have a lot of belief that anything I will cherish is manufactured in bulk. Thus, when I am disproven it is usually the result of a gift. Fortunately in this instance I stumbled on a work around.

I went looking in my yarn bin for materials to make a crocheted Trotro doll for my niece’s X mas present around the same time I was experiencing slipper loss and just starting to warm up the cabin by woodstove heat.

Years ago I did my student teaching in New Zealand and I still remember the day in the market that I bought some virgin wool. A woman named Nicole made me her confidante. She was in a quandary. She said she had started to raise a few sheep to have wool for her projects. She said she had been naive, she didn’t realize they would multiple so quickly. She promised herself when there were 15 she would find a solution to keep the numbers low. She repromised at 20. She said she now had 30 and couldn’t think of having the lambs slaughtered, but couldn’t kill the old ones either. What should she do, she asked me. Me, a twenty something from America, I had no idea what to say to her. Her wools were soft and varied. Creams to greys and browns and rich charcoal, I could imagine this beautiful flock and the impossibility of trying to decide between them. These are materials I can love. I bought a variety, and way more than this non-consumer could concieve of. When I got it home to my place in NZ n realized my bags were full and I was to depart in a few days I realized I would have to wear it to get it home. I crocheted it into a long sleeveless cloak with a big pocket and traveled home encompassed in the heart of the land of NZ. It stayed that way, for years, I had never intended to keep it in that form, but somehow it remained and went on many more travels with me. Finally a few years ago I set to the task of taking it apart and finally, they are anew

IMG_9153

Advertisements

For my grandmother (poem)

For my grandmother:

There is somebody who will remember

the map of your skin

and the candy you chose

to fill the heavy lidded,

solid fitted,

multi- faceted

bowl of your life.

I will remember

the powdered rose scent

of your bathroom

and what you chose

to surround you.

your unmatchable smile,

the way you giggled,

your love,

all still keep me company.

 

 

170117: Creative Autobiography

One I considered a success because of the attention it warranted from others. The other I consider a success because of the internal feeling of elation/ concentration/ balance I felt…

Day One 170117 9:44pm

Prompt: p. 45 of Tharp’s The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life

Tharp poses the questions below, I just took them one at a time and tried to be as honest in the moment as I could. I found the question about habits and routines to be the most challenging to self identify, I needed someone close to me to to help.

Creative Autobiography of Lara Fahnlander

What is the first creative moment you remember?

I guess fort building with my mom in the back yard. I thought it was such fun to make an entirely new space in our ordinary backyard. Realizing that the shelter could be made in different places and turn out differently because of our choices.

Was anyone there to witness or appreciate?

Yes, my mom.

What is the best idea you’ve ever had?

I guess deciding to be a good person everyday and help contribute to good feelings in the world.

What made it great in your mind?

Because it can influence everything else that happens in relation to me.

What is the dumbest idea?

To listen to someone else’s idea of what I should do with my life

What made it stupid?

Trusting someone else to know better than my own heart.

Can you connect the dots that led you to this idea?

Being young and unsure of the realities of what I might need to know or do to survive and thrive as a grown person.

What is your creative ambition?

To share the gifts that only I can contribute to the world. I want to unleash my pure creative self from inhibitions and the priorities of others and society.

What are the obstacles to this ambition?

Some obstacles are

time in relation to the needs that relationships and daily life seem to require

not being focused and clearly directed in my pursuits at all times

technology woes, energy levels, materials, location in various combinations or succession

What are the vital steps to achieving this ambition?

Carving time for this priority, keeping it in the forefront, getting digitally organized, creating a creative habit?

How do you begin your day?

I am not a very ritualistic person. The main consistent things are that I wake up fairly easily and happily and I always brush my teeth and run my fingers through my hair as a comb.

What are you habits? What patterns do you repeat?

Interesting question to ponder… Right now I try to always put my keys in the same place. I brush my teeth morning and night. I will have to discuss this question further with my boyfriend.

Describe your first successful creative act.

While in grade school I took an after school watercolor class. We had a show at the end of the course. A friend of my mom’s offered to buy one of my paintings. I turned her down.

Describe your second successful act.

Actually before the other, I would build block towers of varying shape, but only one block wide that were taller than me. I’m not sure if this is considered creative.

Compare them.

One I consider a success because of the attention it warranted from others. The other I consider a success because of the internal feeling of elation/concentration/balance I felt as I was able to build taller and taller.

10:12pm- converse with Taylor.

My boyfriend concurs I have few routines, but adds: I look in the mirror before leaving the house, usually put on earrings and necklace

Some habits: straighten my eyebrows without thinking, check my phone for time in the morning upon waking

Throughout year, but non-daily habit: keep track in my 10 yr. journal.

10:38pm