This is a poem I wrote Jan. 13th, 2015 at 10:43 am Hawaiian time. I just refound it.
In your abbreviated goodbye
I see it all very clear
The second you know you can affect me
Is the same as when you disappear.
You talk big story, say you want me to be raw and real,
How did I know when I tried
It would turn in to a raw deal?
But no matter,
rebuilding skin is second nature,
And I hate to say it, but it’s all nomenclature.
What you say I am and what you see
It’s just the version you attached to me.
I thought maybe you were different
Could see through to the other side.
But somehow I’m always just a symbol
And all I’ve got to keep is my pride.
Yes, I know I got a chest full of lions,
That no man has ever tamed
Not sure why I keep trying to think all men aren’t the same.
So I lock up the cage again,
Walk around pretty untouchable me
Going into the jungle again to let me roam free
Maybe this was just the way my life was meant to be.
But when you caught my eye it felt more than fleeting
Sound disappeared in eye smiles meeting.
The way my heart felt, like it never felt before.
Each time I found you at the threshold of my door.
Now I wonder was it all a dream
Can anything ever be as good as how we seemed?
Cause it was give and take
and tea and cookies
The middle of the night and the sunrise
It was the running river and the stars above
I don’t want to wonder what happened to our love
Because life is beautiful and life is free
And that’s how I want to
Remember you and you me.
Why does it scare me to see your fallibility?
The trees lose their leaves,
The river gets muddy
And I never worry
Cause I know they’ll come around again
Grow again and clear.