Maybe missing
but I know what love feels like now.
It is infinitely tender, threading, interlocking, release
It is wiser than we are
It already knows
without question-
true to everything.
It is only interrupted;
It can never be contained.
it seeps out of me when I am not looking
and into the heart of everything
lf191107
It is sometimes not best for anyone for one to be given more of a chance than they deserve.
Instincts entered intertwined
Vanity
But now and then, and once for a long while,
the right one pulled me in close,
I’ve made so many mistakes
it’s incredible as many amazing things have happened as they have.
To have been so blessed
as to feel bliss w/ someone
even for a while feels such a gift.
Maybe I was bound to mess it up
with my worry, my intensity, my perfectionism
which make most feel separate from me.
But now and then, and once for a long while,
the right one pulled me in close, tingled my skin
& the heart of my depth and my truth;
brushed up against me,
a comfort beyond words.
But I couldn’t sustain,
even though I wished to,
maybe because I wished to.
I pushed it, and questioned it;
by trying to form it,
killed it
with unnecessary need and
unincredible words.
190918 lf
Once lit never truly extinguished
We are not born once
but in a million ways in a million moments
made & chosen, lost & broken
in a brilliant spectrum of
truth & denial,
of light & trial
Sudden or slow
the awakening
shapes & makes us
ever different than the moment before.
Death is different
It never feels as complete as birth
The memory holds
It cradles the past in soft palms & fingertips
or in tight clutches
But never again wholly unknown
as the birth of a new connection
Neuron to neuron, pupil to pupil
once lit never truly extinguished.
190815 Aug. 2019 lgf
Time to return
to fully enhabiting myself.
To feel intensely had drifted
We had lost our charm
through petty words & actions
Sometimes we forgot
the daily wonderful,
the gift love is,
silent acceptance.
But the core remains
solid & aware
as it was in the beginning,
is now
and ever shall be
Bones are carved, fat is stacked and people lean on what is there to support them
Keeper of the backbeat
Sometimes it feels there are only the surroundings that form
nothing sticks yet nothing passes, nothing to touch which is known to be my own
no sincere smiles meant to enliven
bones are carved, fat is stacked and people lean on what is there to support them
the blood runs circuitous and forgetful of it’s force and import
the brain strolls and scrambles, scratches at murmurs of past facts and future functions
there is little use to what’s been done and more often than not none of the millions of actions enacted serve more than a revolving process
Retreat in expression, for there are no receivers in sight
Memory wonders if it’s ever seen that which it wishes were whole the world over
Lara,
Total heart love is not hingent,
nor found in letters
lf 190209
