The more you surround yourself with belongings, the more of the environment you control. The less you own the more environments you experience. ( maybe like many things, this is only true in some circumstances. It just occurred to me while traveling how much more I was experiencing by not having.
Still, realizing real life pauses are important.
My mind speaks
“We can never represent it accurately”
My hand is pressed, cold palm to forehead
My fingers nestle deep in warm hair,
curve their nails lightly into my scalp
like waves of the ocean, brush by the tides.
But my eyes pause,
draw themselves closed, clothed, contorted overload of the land.
light, too bright, when I remember outside is night.
New moon, too soon leaves the room
slides by, hides, so sly.
Sulk, slack, sit unseen.
Impressed with yourself for not wearing Maybelline.
It’s so obscene, you’re so damn lean.
Forgotten serenity, the entity of totality, til I’m almost ill.
Still, realizing real life pauses are important.
Pen poised, patient, prepared for the perfect timing to touch the paper,
to express a thought worth thinking (doesn’t happen a lot)
inking, indecodable, quotable quips.
Quick trip for some, an “oh yes, fun” then they “have to run”
always jump the gun… not saying I’m never one but what do they do once they are done?
I’d want a refund, but realize I refused to retrain my brain to refrain so I’d abstain~
Written 2002, Dec. 10th
sadly structures rarely represent realistically
rarely represent realistically
most meaning whittled away
and poorly placed
*refound, written in 2001.
Recently we moved to a dry cabin that did not even have a sink set up. We did rectify that situation as soon as possible, but in the meantime we had to come up with creative solutions for dish washing. Since we now keep our dishes to a minimum to reduce clutter and dish load, it also means we have to each wash a single bowl and plate basically every meal. Without a stove top, or running water, or a sink! I came up with a multi- purpose solution. I had gunked up the crock pot making a delicious turnip, radish, apple, moose, summer squash concoction (which I should also write about soon, before I forget the ingredients!).
I poured water into the crock pot, put in our bowls and silverware and turned it on low with some dish soap. Within a few minutes warm water and a scrub brush turned out clean dishes in seconds. Then I scrubed the now submerged crock pot walls as well and Voila!
is there ever a time
when everything comes together in your mind
the perfect tug unravels the yarn ball tangled thoughts into a single line
clear vision lays before you
crystalline in acceptance of everything?
deserving of anything?
I get glimmers,
though any attempts to hold on,
only makes the clarity retreat more swiftly
so i must settle, for now, for here, for this
for it is all a gift.
i will try to remember on days long forgotten,
that there was ever a time.
“We” are special until we think we aren’t.
It still takes two to tango, even if we never learned how.
faults are natural, they occur.
they occur in the streets, in quiet spaces, in blank faces, in every nation.
no one can explain it all, nor understand it all.
but traveling widely it seems the world’s majority people are seekers of good, are good.
may “we” not fall into their hatred
may “we” be bigger than that.
it is the number one thing I feel writing this, after being so absent for months. I would hope I was digesting, adjusting. perhaps that is true. I would like to see it so.
in truth, i hesitated even finding the words, as my mind searched to remember this place. only to find that the key was already unlocked. it has just sat here, waiting for me. patiently, as good things seem often to do.
but right under that feeling and maybe even pushing up from under, like a child using his arms to hold up the top of the fort, I feel joy. Joy that I remember the feeling of contributing, that I can get better at it. That love is worth sharing. That telling stories is part of who we are as people. That art affects.
Realizing this, I will try to begin, bare chested. Forgetting heaviness, letting go, filling up light airy lungs with good, with truth.
It was a fun project to help a friend problem solve and remind her of how special she is~
I have a good friend whose parking space at school was always taken because she has to travel between schools. In Alaska this is a big deal in winter because there are a limited number of spots that have plug ins that interior Alaskans mush have to heat up the oil pan, engine block and battery blanket to keep our cars chugging through down to -50 F temps. So while she was away to a conference celebrating the wonderful Librarians of Alaska, I wanted to do a little to show how much the people right here appreciate all she does to keep us revved up to visit the library.
I had some wood pieces that had been cut flat on one side but left bark on the back. They had been tunneled through under the bark by some critter (spruce beetle?) so my first job was to remove the rest of the bark and the debris from their chewed up tunneling. It actually makes beautiful designs so I didn’t mind.
Then I sanded down both the front and back sides and realized I could also handsaw off a few bumps from limbs gone by. Luckily my boyfriend had a power hand sander that worked great. I love painting so I whipped up a design in pencil then painted it on (as seem on featured image). Once that dried I applied a layer of shellac, and (pressed for time, as she was due back) I didn’t wait quite the full 4 hours recommended before adding another layer.
While that was drying I moved onto the post portion. Her husband supplied me with a small 1x 1 that was perfect for the job. I first tried sawing but was shown this handy chisel tool and away I went carving one end of the post into a piercing point. This was actually pretty fun.
To attach the post to the sign I wanted to make a third piece that would attach to both the sign back and the post. So using some scrap sheet metal from her husband, I used a tin snips to cut out a piece to fit.
Clamping the post in an anvil, I used a small hammer to shape the metal around the post on three sides. The remaining metal would lay flush to the sign. My boyfriend showed me how to make dents with this punch to start the screws easily.
Then after the shellac wasn’t sticky to the touch I screwed it to the post using the metal bracket I had made. I’m sure there are lots of other solutions you could make up for this connection. This was just what worked out easily for me. I also left more of the post above, because it was winter time and the sign would then stick only in the snow. In spring she may want to shift the sign further up on the pole when more of it would be driven down deeper into the dirt.
But this is it for now. She said it worked great for keeping her spot free and didn’t have a problem again until she took the sign down when the snow melted and the ground was still thawing. It was a fun project to help a friend problem solve and remind her of how special she is~
The whole process took less that 30 minutes or so, and now I have a flattering cute top rather than a saggy baggy mess.
So I found this extra large top that I loved the feel and the pattern of, but no way could I wear it in public. So instead of hauling out the sewing machine, I came up with this quick fix. I’ve always liked empire waists that emphasize the bust line, so I simply pulled the front sides of the shirt back behind my arm til I found where it overlapped the back panel of material while still covering my bra line.
Then I pulled the remaining fabric forward while keeping the front material tucked in the fold.
After that I just started from the inside of the back hold point and sewed along my bust line. I actually did that while I was wearing it, but just because I didn’t have any pins on hand and I was just kinda caught up in the moment.
I did the same thing on the other side, just checking the the arm holes seemed about the same size. The whole process took less that 30 minutes or so, and now I have a flattering cute top rather than a saggy baggy mess. This of course would need to be a stretchy knit probably to start with for it to work, but I was pretty happy with the results. As you can see I’m wearing another tank under, just because I didn’t want to worry about revealing too much in pictures, but it is definitely a stand alone piece.
From the moment I felt too close to you
Blushing at touching
Overlapping and apologizing
There was no denying
As we were filleting
More than the flesh of this fish was
Going to be exposed.
Because your eyes on me
Made me fumble
I was jumbling words
and stumbling for sentences
Everything got slippery
You showed me the way
And made me try it for myself.
(I liked it. Even if I don’t remember how to do it again in the future.)
(artwork by me in Notan Printmaking tradition)