shame

it is the number one thing I feel writing this, after being so absent for months. I would hope I was digesting, adjusting.  perhaps that is true.  I would like to see it so.

in truth, i hesitated even finding the words, as my mind searched to remember this place.  only to find that the key was already unlocked. it has just sat here, waiting for me.  patiently, as good things seem often to do.

but right under that feeling and maybe even pushing up from under, like a child using his arms to hold up the top of the fort, I feel joy.  Joy that I remember the feeling of contributing, that I can get better at it.  That love is worth sharing. That telling stories is part of who we are as people. That art affects.

Realizing this, I will try to begin, bare chested. Forgetting heaviness, letting go, filling up light airy lungs with good, with truth.

 

 

 

 

 

6 Wk. Developing Creatively Outline

Record moments of personal creativity. Adjust personal triggers…dependent on mood.

Developing Creatively: Focus on Personal Practice

Capstone Schedule Outline

 

One five-day duration exercise by Tharp per week

Two Exercises per week from Tharp

Three Days per week w/ personal trigger trials.

May adjust personal triggers on day of, dependent on mood

 

Active 5 consecutive days per week for six weeks

Starting Week of Jan. 15th

Ending Week of Feb. 19th

 

Documentation:

Daily: Time Start/End Creative Session

Daily: Blog Reaction Notes

Notebook: Anytime- Record moments of personal creativity

Digital Evidence of Creation: You Tube or Vimeo, Instagram or other photo site link back to blog

Week One: Jan. 15th                                                      

Daily  

p. 30 Mind Wander (1 min.)

Individual Day Trigger Trials

1. p. 45 Creative Autobiography (Done) (170117)

2. p. 178 Circles to Accomplish (Done) (170118)

3. 10 min. indoor exercise (Fail) none (170119) Woodburning Game Tiles

4. 10 min. nap (Done) (170120)

5. 10 min. eat/make food (Done) (170121) Creative writing about dry cabin and reducing kitchenware

Week Two: Jan. 22nd                                                                   

Daily  

p. 30 Mind Wander (3min)

Individual Day Trigger Trials

1. p. 51 Pick a Name (Done) creative exercise, spontaneous cooking (170122)

2. p. 31 Five Biggest Fears (Done) (170123)

3. prep space (Done) dance, edit (170124)

4. 10 min. drink tea  (Done) yoga, photography, creative problem solving (ski skirt, and slick stairs)  (still need to post these) (170125)

5. 10 min. clean (Done) jewelry-making

Then 2 days off: Friday and Saturday

Week Three: Jan. 29th                                                                  

Daily  

p. 30 Mind Wander (5min)

Individual Day Trigger Trials

1. p. 191 Sixty Uses (Done) (170129)

2. p. 109 Arrange Coins (Done) (170130)

3. 10 min. computer (Done) spontaneous cooking (homemade pizza) and 1st blog post of magnetic poetry I’ve made. (170131)

4. 10 min. read (Done) -did mind wander but no more (170201)

5. 10 min. decide spontaneously (chose to prepare space: put up and cut more magnets) make more magnetic poetry (170202)

BONUS day: Not required by program, but felt like it.  (170203)

prompt: put up rest of mag. poetry and made more poems also finished second earring design and came up with some other good ideas. See Notes

Week Four: Feb. 5th                                                                      

Daily  

p. 30 Mind Wander Mind Wander (7min)

Individual Day Trigger Trials

1. p. 66 Copy an Artist

2. p. 112 Egg (undone) Writing cc ski blogpost

3. p. 203 Do a Verb (undone): Yoga and Dancing

4. 10 min. meditate (undone) : Eggplant Motz Pesto Foldovers

5. 10 min. ph. Call (undone) : Chocolate Chip Cherry Cupcakes

Week Five: Feb. 12th                                                                      

Daily  

p. 30 Mind Wander (9min)

Individual Day Trigger Trials

1. p. 176 Twenty Questions

2. 10 min. play with materials -sick, fail

3. 10 min. watch video –Yoga, Dance

4. 10 min. journal- Magnetic Poetry

5. p. 114 Field Trip with Purpose- See Hobo Jim (the Alaskan Balladeer) perform

Week Six: Feb. 19th                                                       

Daily  

p. 32 Go Without

Individual Day Trigger Trials

1. p. 174, 179 Skill Inventory, -1 Tool 170220

2. p. 50 Observe Twenty Interactions

3. 10 min. look at art-170222 Creative Writing: Alaska Living

4. 10 min. look at memories-170223  Display Art

5. 10 min. play music- 170224 More Display Art

End Formal Trial

Week Seven

 

 

Notes on the Creative Trials

Ideas: Independent Water Sourcing, Tahini Cottage Cheese
Creative Movement: Dance, Sing,
Resource Find:
Our World in Data: Max Roser

170313 Temp 11 (Monday) W 🙂

Official trial ended 2 weeks and 3 days ago, and now is the beginning of me trying to renew/ continue that, which has been difficult in the face of writing more of my paper.  I have documented multiple events of creativity in my life since then, but I have only made one new post on WordPress.  I have posted 6 new videos to You Tube since then, and have at least 6 more to post when I get to fast internet again.

Today I spent the morning teaching 9 new kids how to throw on the wheel.  Ages 9-15.  First time teaching for TFS  this M-F 9-12.  Spent hours Sat/Sun gathering physical and pedagogical materials.  Arrived at 7:45 this morn to set up and left at 12:45 after clean up, need to teach the kids better how to work from 3 o’clock with both hands once donut shaped…biggest present obstacle to their wheel success.  Also almost no one was compressing lip.

As of today I have 50 You tube subscribers since my start in mid-Feb.  I have over 5k views and 4.7k watch minutes.  Revenue you ask?  only $1.40 cents… not a money source

Today I am noting that since the end of the trial my creative action has stayed regular with my dance and yoga practice, recording sessions one to two times and week.  this is also the activity I also get the most feedback from.

I also continue to do cooking creative projects regularly without prompting.  I also continue to photograph in relation to documentation and on occasion for the sake of photography itself.  I have still noted some creative problem solving, or ideas.  I have followed through on one visual art project, and had ideas for another.

170313 Temp 5 (Sunday) NW 😀

Today I took pics of the implements I used to take my first dry cabin shower.  It was pretty easy, faster than going to school, and my hair turned out way more curley and beautiful than normal, what’s up? How have I never done this in the past 8 yrs? (need to make dry cabin post)

Today from 1:30-3 I set up a hanging vantage point for my camera to video.  First time trying this.  It worked ok, using cord and those thick plastic reusable twist tie things.  Still challenging to get it to point where I want because of some string positioning. Also made more yoga/ burp/ some with bar vids.

Also today in the evening 7-7:45 after talking with Lauren to plan our Chilkoot campspots I designed a 5 day meal plan for the hike.  Will have to pass it with Lauren.

Also had an idea today while looking at FB to make my mom a sign with a quote that she liked and says should be on a wall somewhere.

170312 Temp 18 (Saturday) NW :l

Finally submitted a version of my findings.  11-4 Then drove out of town to pick up a friend and take her to lunch, she just got done with surgery yesterday and is recovering, still has a blood drain bag in and needed perking up.  Ate things I shouldn’t have.  regret. Evening worked on collecting materials for teaching on Monday and created a Create in Clay Pinterest catagory of examples and some artist talks to share with the students.

170311 Temp 2 (Friday) W :/ 😕 out of my new habit

Subbed yesterday and today for high school Art Jewelry and Ceramics classes

Big Lapse here, most of my free time has been going directly to the Capstone, needed to do lots of data analysis and writing up of findings.  Still not satisfied with my quality of work for this and ability for the paper to be reading friendly.  :/

170306  Temp. -25  (Monday) NW 😀

Did photography today while I attended the start of the Iditarod race for the first time ever.  This is it’s 45th year, and only 3rd year starting in FAI due to not enough snow in ANC.  I saw the race from at least 4 different vantage points and 2 locations.  So bitter cold on the hands while photograph and videoing.  Awesome experience.  Also worked creative problem solving to fix clay delievry problem which started last Thursday.  Finally today, success.

170303 Day Thirty Four, Temp. -10 (Friday) W

Problem HUGE snow pile up, concern that roofs may collapse under the weight. Taylor and I experiment using rope and a jug to throw over the roof and slice snow like cheese to help it separate from roof and slide down.  Didn’t work, well it sliced, but the slice didn’t cause slide.  Want to try climbing a tall ladder to apex of roof then scooting along top and pushing snow down, ok if we slide down or fall because there is so much snow below it wouldn’t hurt to fall.  But the ladder is padlocked and Don has the key in California.  Taylor needs to get the lock removed before we can try our other approach.  Cold feet and bum.  Need to experiment for warmer outdoor gear cover of those spots.

170301 Day Thirty Three, Temp. -10 (Wednesday) W 🙂

7pm use end of cooked sweet potato as a cone, insert a few drips of pure maple syrup and brie into center to melt while hot.  Yum. (photograph)

9pm use Reuben spread with potato for decker stuffed potato (photograph)

170228 Day Thirty Two, Temp -16 (Tuesday) NW

Yoga and Burp record more sessions for You Tube (Video) work to make shorter segments since view time is avg. approx. 1 min.

170226 (Week Seven) Day Thirty One, Temp. 24 (Sunday) NW

A few days ago I got the idea, while picking out logs for the fire, to make a parking sign for my friend.  She runs three libraries and sometimes people park in her spot, which is only important here because only some spots have electrical plug ins to keep your car working in extreme cold temps.  She was up for the award for AK Librarian of the Year this past week, and I wanted her to know whether or not she won, we all feel she is a superstar and much appreciated!  I left my house with just a slim board and by late that evening I left her husband’s garage with a full painted and varnished sign with post thanks to material help from my boyfriend (her son) and her husband. I will make a post of the process soon.

 

Trial offical end.

170224 Day Thirty, Temp. 15 (Friday) W

Today for the second time I was able to be creative at work.  This is the first time that I have had a creative concept, but had someone carry out most of the labor.  I drew the font, chose colors, and an aide carried out my requests.  I did some of the parts myself, like drawing and cutting out the batman symbol because I knew I wouldn’t be able to explain those parts of the concept to someone else.

170223 Day Twenty Nine, Temp. 10 (Thursday) W

Today I was creative at work, first time in this trial.  I was able to create a unique poster for a window display case  and design 2 window displays.  I also modified an existing door decoration. There was no time to do my prompt before creative exercise because I was limited by the school hours.

170222 Day Twenty Eight, Temp. 13 (Wednesday) W

Today was so full there was literally no time to stop, let alone create.  I had to work, drive hours and arrive at a cold cabin at 13 degrees.  Night was spent getting a fire going in the wood stove to warm it to body temp while I kept my body temp up by staying outdoors and shoveling a parking spot out of foot and a half deep snow and hauling gear indoors and feeding the stove.  I wrote the post in my mind while I worked.  I also thought about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and how lucky that we live in an era where it is often possible to have free time to pursue life beyond food, shelter and warmth.

170221 Day Twenty Seven, Temp. ?, NW

Rough start to the week, failed today on my Go Without week long duration experiment.  I did one of Tharp’s challenges today to list your skills and think of one to eliminate.  I find these self examination challenges the most difficult.  I don’t know why, but it is very hard to try to perceive myself objectively.

170220 Week Six: Day Twenty Six, Temp. ?, NW

***over this weekend I spent more time deleting items from my hard drive so I would have enough space for it to function and put on more videos and photos.  I am starting to enjoy this cleansing process.  I have been taking music off my computer and finding that I have tons of music on there I have not even yet listened to.  I move much of it to an external hard drive so I can listen to it and sort through it when I have more time.  But it wouldn’t be a big deal if I lost it, and I organize it onto my hard drive as such.  I made real files for the musicians I know I like then other folders like “Try” and “maybe” for artists I need to spend more time listening to before I decide to pitch or keep.  In general I don’t feel as much like I have to listen to the whole song or album before making a decision.  I’m trying to listen more from the gut.  If I don’t like it on instinct I need to be more fearless about flinging it.  I’m just so ruled by fairness that I feel like I have to give everything a full listen before I judge it.  I am working to break that habit as it is not very time effective.

*** I also put more time this weekend to developing a Patreon account and trying to figure out how that functions.  I worked more on my videos on You Tube and how to use tags and words effectively.  Just this weekend I published one yoga and Burp video that has received over 200 views in three days.  I’m not sure if that will continue, but it was enough to spur me to see how I could make money on YouTube.  It looks like you have to have an Adsense acct.  I applied for that this weekend and once it is approved (if it is approved) I can move forward and see if I can earn any money from videos I share that do not use any copyrighted material like songs etc.

170217 Day Twenty Five, Temp. 7 F (Friday) W

Worked from 8:30-3:30 went home and napped, made food and napped again with T.  February and low energy must be getting to me.  I welcome spring and hope it gets here soon.  We ate some more before heading out for my prompt: field trip with purpose at about 10pm.  This artist was a favorite of Taylor’s but I wasn’t expecting much.  He turned out to be a great entertainer, read more about Jim in my post on this.  We stayed until the end of the show at 1am.

170216 day Twenty Four, Temp. 22 F (Thursday) W

Worked all day, home at 3 took myself for a reading walk due to sunshine, cooked a veggie rice meal and read while T sleeps.  Then reviewed blog starting at 6:30 and looked at blogs of others who liked or subscribed to my blog.  Started actually working on typing posts around 7:30 (got yesterday’s post ready just waiting on hyperlink, which is waiting on sound editing, hopefully to post soon). Break to edit You Tube videos and see that adding audio is possible there… which could be critical for a couple of my videos where I need a sound mask.  8 pm typing here, have yet to do my creative time today.

Feel like making some poetry and would like to make more progress on the wood burning project and get that finished soon. … Did end up making poetry from about 10 to 11 pm.

170215 Day Twenty Three, Temp. 15 F (Wednesday) NW

Stayed home from work after another long night, finally got to sleep in the wee hours and then slept til 10:30.  Again not hungry, but ready to move by after noon and did creative movement of yoga and dancing after following my daily prompt of watching video.  I watched some past videos I need to edit.  I started downstairs, probably partially inspired by the mattress I dragged down there last night to try to not keep T awake.  I doubled it over and did cushioned head stands and then some soft stretches on it and some floor work. By then I felt like moving more and the natural light was better upstairs so I set up up there and recorded dancing.  First to Alt-J and then some Black Eyed Peas and lastly to Dance Band- Pedal Power.  I did movement exercises from about 1 until 2:30 then worked on editing for another hour or so and again that evening around 8:30 when I went to the U and uploaded one of the clips.  It was the first yoga recording of the day that I chose to keep as documentation.

170214 Day Twenty Two, Temp. 22 F (Tuesday) W

For Valentine’s Day I was pretty boring.  I was sick all last night and got barely two hours of sleep, and was still scheduled to work today so I came home and went straight to bed.  I woke up to eat a bit and say hi to my sweetie, but was back in bed before long and not at all in creative space.  So this is the first day in a while I have missed my creative making time.

170213 Week Five: Day Twenty One, Temp. 4 F (Monday) NW

Today I did the prompt for today 20 Questions from about 10pm-10:40 pm.  I was skeptical as I began and afterward felt both interested and overwhelmed.  I need to reflect more on this and see if I pick up and do more with it.  I do notice that my sweet spot for creating seems to be around 8 or 9 pm til 10 or 11…dependent on the day.  If I’m not at work and Taylor is gone I seem to like to do dance or yoga more midday while he is away.  Today I did my mind wander as well, but after I did my other creative piece.  I do like the mind wanders, and maybe more now that I’m not trying to make myself do them prior to other creative acts.  I think they can fit in where ever I feel like doing them.  As I am learning in Mighty Ugly and as Tharp had said, ultimately everything will just have to fit in how and where it feels comfortable for me.  It has taken me this long to feel assertive enough to feel I have that power.  It is a good feeling, interesting that I didn’t take ownership of it earlier.  But now feel confident of these decisions.  I will still try to do the prompts of Tharp’s that I set out to do, but not if it’s blocking me from being creative that day because I don’t feel like doing it first.  I may push it to another day or do it after the thing I feel like doing.  Reorganizing is fine, just having the techniques available and on my mind seems to help knowing there are options.

Today I also worked on posting from previous creative efforts. .i.e. eggplant foldover and part of a cupcake post before I got antsy or felt like I just needed to focus on today’s time.  I do think in a way the posts themselves are creative time.  There is critique and reflection involved.  I often look at the posts from an outsiders view after completing it and realize I need to edit further or I missed a main element.

Some of the things at this point that are helping.  If I feel like in a trial day I write here in notes, do my mind wander, and spend my creative time plus work on a new post I’m doing great.  If I do two or three of those I’m still pleased with myself.  If I’m at 1-0 I’m not happy with the day’s progression.  Especially now that I know it’s very doable, like today.  Today is a great day.  I don’t have to be a stickler on the time because I know if I hit all those marks in a day I’ve definitely contributed to my creative progression for the day.  Signing off.

170212 Bonus Day: from 9:30 pm after the Bamff Film Fest at the U, Taylor and I worked in the jewelry studio until 11:30 pm.  I sawed two rounds off a copper pipe and hammered them flat into potential earring loops.  I also tried out soldering again after a many year hiatus.  Braided two different types of round metals while in a vice and then hammered them flat.  First was too brittle, second was better and I turned into almost a bracelet, but still needs work.  The time went by quickly, I thought only an hour had passed, but it was two. I also worked on some magnetic poems on the fridge while I was waiting for T to be ready for me to cut his hair.  I like that I am valuing my time more now and trying to find activities I can do in in between/ transistion times.

170211 Day Twenty, Temp. -25 F (Saturday) NW

Spontaneous cooking: Chocolate cupcakes with cherries and chocolate chips.

Combine a few different recipe ideas into one, wasn’t sure if the ingredients would work together, but they turned out delicious.  Great, because I wanted to share with neighbors who helped extract my car from the snowbank yesterday!

This week was the beginning of this project flowing and fitting into my life so much that some days I would think to myself, shoot I still have to do a creative thing today for the project!  Then a moment later realize no, wait, I already danced today… or cooked today.  The feeling was great to see I’m starting to incorporate more creative acts into my life without forcing it.  I’m also recognizing more of my natural habits or things I’m drawn to do.  I am curious to continue this longer than a month to see if things cycle in and out by seasons or natural interests changing or circumstance allowances etc.

170210 Day Nineteen, Temp. -3 F (Friday) W

Spontaneous cooking: Broiled eggplant, smoked Motz, pesto, tomato fold overs.  Evening 7-8pm

It is weird coming to realize something that you feel is familiar and that you have done a number of times may still be a creative act.  There are these eggplant fold over things that I love to make, and I got an eggplant at the store to make them.  But I’d forgotten what temp. I use.  I went on the internet and looked up eggplant fold over with motz etc, but nothing came up.  I didn’t realize until interacting with the digital environment that I may have something to contribute.

170209 Day Eighteen, Temp. 4 F (Thursday) NW

Yoga and Dancing upstairs to Greg Brown, M.I.A. and Steep Canyon Rangers. Keep 2 of 2 GB, 2 of 4 MIA and 0 of 2 SCR (one accidental erase)  review same day, and upload at Pub. Lib. same day.  Realize Sat. 2/11 can specify when I take link from my You Tube that I can pre-select starting point then.  Great. Did this exercise mid-day around 1-2pm

170208 Day Seventeen, Temp 2 F (Wednesday) W

wrote part of blog post describing cc ski trip from last weekend and uploaded picks for the post, but did not complete and post until 2/11  Evening 6-7pm

170207 Week Four: Day Sixteen, Temp. -4 F (Tuesday) NW

Did Copy an Artist exercise by Tharp. Evening 8:30 to 10:30pm. Was so not excited to do this that it set my trials for the week back a day because Monday I just couldn’t make myself.  I did at least pick out a source artist.  Then Tuesday I narrowed down to three images and sought input from Taylor for a final decision vote.  When I finally started after 8 pm, I was skeptical since I haven’t drawn for so long.  But I enjoyed it at first.  About 30 min in I liked it and wanted to stop there, but it was still quite unfinished looking.  Taylor helped encourage me to push through by offering my own advice to work through it, back to me. I listened to him and tried to loosen up and just enjoy it and see what happens, no pressure.  The activity became a lot more fun, and I persevered and actually finished.  Which also was a good feeling.  The drawing was not in the pointilism style of the artist, but the mood was there.  I also learned a bit about drawing the deer’s hairs and used just a mechanical pencil the whole time which was a new thing for me.  Taylor asked if I was planning to shade parts with the blending stubs but I opted not to on this one.  This exercise did encourage me a bit to start drawing again, but I still feel quite a bit of resistance in myself on this subject.

170203/04 Bonus Days: Both of these days I did some photography as we skied to and from a remote cabin for the night.  Later I wrote a blog about the experience, but the post is currently pretty bad.  Need a lot of work at becoming a good descriptive writer of an adventure.

170202 Day Fifteen (Half way through the trial), Temp. 2 F (Thursday) W

Today’s prompt was spontaneous choice.  I chose to prepare my space.  I cut apart new magnetic poetry words I made for the fridge and added more of my old ones that are still in the baggie from the move.  Then from 10 to 10:56pm I made poetry pieces on the fridge.  I am also trying to test if I can make some good poetry at anytime, or if it is a thing I really must be in an inspired mode to achieve.  Results available here.  I think I like a few of them, but they need to sink in a little before I can tell.  I like making on the fridge because I can start various things all at once and build them as I see pieces even if I’m working on another one.  I like that big view kind of thing.  I wish other things worked well to just lay out in front of me and move the parts around with my finger into new places.

170201 Day Fourteen, Temp. 4 F (Wednesday) W

Today I did my prompt, which was reading for 10 mins. I’m reading Make It Might Ugly right now.  Then I promptly did my mind wander.  So I got 20 mins in, but living in a dry cabin we went to school to shower and do three loads of laundry and by the time I got home at 9:30pm I was exhausted having done that and a full work day (also because I only slept 4.5 hrs the night before.  So I crashed and slept til morning.  Creativity failure today, but at least they have been quite rare so far, so I will try not to be too hard on myself, and just move on tomorrow.

170131 Day Thirteen, Temp. 12 F (Tuesday) NW

Today was a good creative day even before starting my trials.  Met with John at the Folk School and came up with ideas about how to combine his class and mine and how we could maximize the way we offer them.  He had a great idea- wants me to teach a workshop or something that helps the other folk school instructors get teaching tips. I’ve never taught a pedagogy class like this before and was at first a bit overwhelmed at the thought since all people have such different teaching styles and strengths.  But when I got home I filled a page full of ideas (2:30pm) easily that could help people who are not trained as teachers.  I also wrote up a bio for the Folk School website and a course description (6pm).  At home I did my prompt for today -spend 10 min on the computer (8:30pm) and through that I found photographs of some old magnetic poetry I will start to collect and post on a new post page (9p.m.).

I am starting to think my creative time during a regular work day may be best around 9 p.m.. It’s a point in the day I feel I haven’t really utilized in the past.   Just a winding down tired time when I tend to lose focus.  But now that I need to make creative space in my day, this seems to be where it fits.  I have taken care of most of the daily necessities by that time or given up on them, and feel like I’m truly off the clock.

11:30pm just finished eating homemade pizza.  T made crust and let me design my own toppings.   Will write a post about it later)  Took about 10-20 minutes working on toppings and oven portion.

170130 Day Twelve, Temp. -9 F (Monday) W

Just into the third week and feeling like on days that I work and get home in late afternoon it helps if I take a short 20 min. nap and eat something before trying to be creative. Sometimes it helps if I clean up around the house a bit too.  Seems to clear my mind.

Went and showered and worked at U after that though and didn’t do creative work until

9:30 to 10:30p.m. Did Arrange Items Exercise and took photos of the arrangements before I wiped them out.

Photographs are a great tool to be able to save work for students that need to be physically destroyed.  It seems to make it easier for kids to let go and enter the deconstruction mode when they know they can see the piece again.

** I had a modification idea for a previous Pick a Name exercise that I had not enjoyed. Modification info is with the original notes from the day of that prompt.

170129 Start Week Three: Day Eleven, Temp. 6 F (Sunday) NW

I used some of my break time on Friday and Saturday to create more space on my hard drive so that will not be an obstacle to recording data as I would like.  Via video ect.  It is still hard for me to upload large files and I will have to start storing these to wait until I’m at the U to upload quickly and not on my data plan as it would create overages quickly.

Prompt: brainstorm 60 uses for an object

pick paperclip, stumped after thinking of 9 uses and then again hard pauses at 20, 29, 35, 40, 43, 50, 57.  Tried to avoid overlap of function but quite hard to think in entirely different avenues every time.  Thoughts do naturally connect from one thing to another.

Realized the Dry Cabin Minimalism dishes solution is working and update that post

170126 Day Ten, Temp. 15 (Thursday) W

This time I have been going for 10 days straight without a break because last week I went from Tues-Sat.  Then I started Week Two with Sun-Thurs.  I think that is a bit too much for me.  I did still do the prompts, but noticed I missed a lot of mind wanders this week.  In future I think I will try to have at least a day break between my 5 days in a row.  Otherwise it may be difficult to stay productive.  Although I did realize on Saturday after this I did some creative activity without being on the schedule so that is good to note too.

This evening I again started around 9pm and looked through my jewelry making cases.  I tried making a pair of feather earrings from chicken feathers I had collected from the farm back in Hawaii, but the angle was weird I not to my liking.  Finally gave up on that and went with the materials I felt naturally draw to.  I used a link that I liked from the first earring tries and paired it with a new material from my collection because I was really in need of a new pair of nice looking black earrings.  Really happy with the results.

170125 Day Nine, Temp. 5 F (Wednesday) NW

8:30am-10am improve blog function

11:45-1 Go CCskiing and take pics

1 to 1:45 Creative Problem Solving: Snow Skirt, Slippery Steps, House too Dry

1:52-1:58 Yoga/ Burping exercise

Incoming Call: John wants to talk to me about teaching kids ceramics over spring break at the http://thefolkschoolfairbanks.org/

Return call and set up meeting Tuesday- agree to teach a half day kids ceramics class for spring break.

170124 Day Eight  -1 F (Tuesday) NW

11:45a.m. Spontaneous Creative Cooking: Make “Forever Young” Salad creation

done at 12:10.  Go help T get car unstuck from snowdrift.  Blog about Salad and listen to Gaiman’s American Gods and upload photos to catch up with blog posts that need updating.  Update posts of Mind/Body Game, Dry/Min Marriage, Goodreads.

5:15-6:30p.m. Use prompt: Prepare space -Upstairs clear and set up to video

Dance approx. 1 hr.- stop because memory card runs out.

6:45-past 10 pm edit and try to make space on my computer to process…aggravating

170123 Day Seven -30F (Monday) W

Prompt: 5 biggest fears

170122 Start of Week Two: Day Six  -25 F (Sunday) NW

6:55 pm.  Prompt Exercise p. 51 Pick a Name from Tharp’s The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life

This exercise to me was way too long and wasn’t worth writing a blog post about in the end. May be a good journal entry prompt for students some day if there were also another option.

(*** Later (on 170131) I got a sticky name tag from a school. I ripped apart the letters of my name and rearranged them i.e.

I think this might be a viable modification to the existing exercise)

The idea of the exercise is to make up a name for yourself. Why do you feel it fits you? What it would say about you?  Would you want it to make a statement? Or be the name of someone you admire?

I spent about 40 minutes brainstorming, looking through lists of names and trying to write down each letter of the alphabet and find a name for it to help me.

At about 7:40 I gave up.  None of the names felt more me than mine.  I’m not sure if it’s because my name is already very original, the combination of my names belongs to no one else in the world… well at least no one else on the internet.  Or maybe many people feel this way?  My name has been through everything with me, it feels like it is very much a part of me, and there is no name I can think of that I would prefer.

So after this long attempt, I turned to a new creative endeavor, and made two versions of frozen yogurt, inspired by my boyfriend’s recent success making delicious homemade yogurt and his challenges trying to make homemade ice cream.

I mostly finished by 9:05 pm, but am still trying to whip one version occasionally as it freezes.

I tried another version after this that bombed due to the raisins. I don’t even want to talk about it.  It’s 10:50 right now.  Gotta work in the morning.

170121 Day Five -14 F (Saturday) NW

10:32pm Prompt: Made food and ate it- Mashed potatoes, bacon, sour cream and some fancy cheese. Shared with Taylor. Used the restroom and started working on creativity.  In my present mood, the nap yesterday was more helpful than making food.  As I wasn’t especially hungry, but I do think I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate without using the restroom.  I hope all teachers are letting students go to the restroom when they need to.

10:52 Did my Mind Wander for the day. thoughts of purpose and time

10:54pm I realized today, that for me perhaps, infrastructure is integral to doing something with my creative self.  Sure there is value for me just in the action alone, but if it dies there, I feel it is almost just a selfish act.  So, I need to build outlets or avenues of how these actions can progress.  It may be important for me to discover if they are of value to anyone else, or maybe I need to see them more collectively myself as well.  I am not sure.  But I do think that the connection with others that the mediums of art bring have value for me.  Just yesterday I spoke with a middle school student.  He has a great deal of struggle with reading, and I saw that in math simple multiplication was too much for him without a calculator.  When I asked what his favorite subject was though he said math.  I asked about art, and he replied that he doesn’t do art except for music, and bike repair.  I thought it was so great.  This kid taught himself bicycle repair because he thought it would be manly and he grew up without a father.  He understands already that his bicycle repair is an art, and I bet it’s healing for him, that connection, the coming to true.  I think it is an instinctive bond for some people.

I have spent a lot of time between these creative sections dedicated to trying to establish some outlets for myself.  Because perhaps if those are built into my habits and I see results affecting others it will be a good motivation to continue.  So even though I am in interior Alaska, and it takes 7 hours to upload a 10 minute video I make, I am going to try to find a way, and refine and refine these pathways until there in ease there, doable, logical and worthwhile.  If I can achieve those qualities I think there may be a chance for sticking power.  Everyone wants to make a difference, right?  Even if just for one person.

Idea: I would like to start a blog where I record stories. I would like to record stories that were meaningful in my life, but also things I hear, like the boy with the art of bicycle repair that are powerful and hit me in the heart.

11:07pm I don’t feel like drawing or dancing or cooking today, I feel like writing, and so I will write.  I’m going to write about minimalism or dry cabin living.

Done at 11:44p.m. See Post Dry Cabin Minimalism Marriage

170120 Day Four -12 F (Friday) W

Prompt: Took at least a 10 minute nap

8:50 pm I learned how to use the wood burning tool yesterday and was ready to try today.  First I made sketches in pencil for Mind-Over-Body on two different tiles, each forward fold figure- one male and one female.  Then wood burned the figures onto the tiles and added text. Then I brainstormed for a while to think of new activities I could use.  I sketched a few tries of a figure spinning both in male and female form.  Pencil sketched them onto tiles. Taylor taught me how to refuel the burning tool and I burned the second pair of tiles with spin motion figures.

9:50 thought about stopping, but then sketched a hug, transfer in pencil to tile. wood burn one tile (total of 5 tiles wood burned today)

10:15 done

170119 Day Three -50 F (Thursday) NW

Technology, Personal and Data Memory problems – fail to be creative today except for a mind wander

But I do write here and try to catch up on documentation and data transfer.

170118 Day Two -50 F (Wednesday) NW

Start taking notes @ 6:30pm- pre-start: I cleaned up the house instigated by aesthetic desire for filming yoga

Some ideas occurred before then:

Blog idea-Dry Cabin Living- Multi-purpose headboard

Blog idea-EDU- poem and interp heard at one FAI elem. cool 2nd Gr Collab.

Idea: Make- Ski skirt- start to reallocate some wool sweaters to be materials, still need to find some polar fleece.

Set up recording and begin yoga session

6:35 10 min yoga (video)

6:45 break- brush teeth, pee, drink water

6:51 photo Grandma’s toy animals-could be good characters for a story

Idea: Make mosaic mirrors

Put on necklace and clip nails  Photograph creative jewelry combo

7:11 do 1 min. mind wander then record and prepare space and materials

7:16 Begin Circles of Accomplishment exercise after rereading p. 178

7:27 check time, pee, drink water, feel antsy, make more connections on my Accomplishments exercise

7:57 ate T’s homemade baked oatmeal and yogurt, almost died they were so delicious

Idea: Have T guest blog about making yogurt, baked oatmeal and wheat free waffles

Get out wood burning tools, tiles, examples/inspiration by T, realize I should sketch first

8:19 finish forward fold sketch of female and male – done from imagination, look much like T and I. Try to use wood burning tool, but not sure how, need to ask T later

8:29 start edit on cam

8:44 finish on cam edit- keep 20/31.

170117 Formal Trial Begins: Day One -25 F (Tuesday) W

Tues. 9:41 pm

1min mind wander (use phone timer) record ideas

9:44 begin answering Tharp’s Creative Autobiography Questions (Exercise p. 45)

10:41 Finish, record and save results

170113 Test to see what I may need to do to better prepare before the formal start

Home by 4 pm

Post idea: Every Plot Has Running Water:

explore methods to gather/ heat & store precipitation for personal water needs.

Start time_________ (check vid. data)

Setting: Upstairs home: wood floor

First clear area. Get: stool, lamp, camera, laptop.

(insert dance time doc: 1, 3)

1st (Dance trial) Music: Wade in the Water

2nd: (False start) Erase

X 3rd: (Sing Trial) Hard Way to Go: Bonnie Raitt (Interrupted T arrives home-5ish)

2:22min. 4th (Dance)

Wamaho” Queen Asabia- African Art: African Voices

3:09min. 5th Last. (Dance)

(Repeat beginning) “Wamaho” Queen Asabia- African Art: African Voices

(Interrupted: T asks question)

5:10ish Decide to stop to leave time to edit.

T tells me not to stop on his account.

B5:17pm Edit start: Only progress importing file 4 & 5.

Tech Problems:

Not enough computer storage to edit video.

Imovie format not familiar/ not importing clip.

Solution:

Need to transfer data off computer to cloud/ex. Drive

6:12 Stopping (Break) Bathroom/ give T Calf Rub/Eat/Brew Tea for Kombucha

7-7:13 T comes to help update Imovie, not enuf space

7:20 Clip T imported gets to Imovie, Start editing remove 10sec start, 49sec end. 1.50min.remain Take out 8sec at 1:20. Leave 20sec.

1.42min remain

Tech Trouble: It doesn’t want to delete split clips I select to delete

7:34 Interrupted Sub Call

7:37 T comes up finds Alt to grayed out Menu Delete. 2 finger click = Right click

Edit down

7:44 Interrupt: Bathroom/eat /transfer boch tea/relax

Creative (Food): combine lemon tahini dressing and cottage cheese

[There is currently no line of flavored cottage cheeses that I’ve seen on the market]

Could do w/ fruits, sauces, dressings ect/Sweet or Savory

8:50 Try to get on Blogger- Find WordPress author Krista leads to Max Roser’s site, Our World in Data.

9:50pm Blogging here.

10:24 WordPress (WP) Blog Posted & Facebook (FB) UFARTED resource Our World in Data Shared

Need to:

Spend less time per day

import 2x 170113 Dancing, link to Water blog if write, link to Food Post if write, Edit Dancing

Starting with Why

Like the goldfish in this picture, I felt overtaken by responsibilities and the needs of others. I loved my work, my students and co-workers, but I did not maintain a healthy lifestyle or feel like an exemplary artist mentor to my students.

In the middle of my first year of full-time teaching they made a new rule in the school because of me. They said all employees who are not night custodians must exit the building by ten p.m.. Before then I kept changes of clothes at school and a spare blanket in my coat closet for nights I worked so late I only had time to sleep a few hours before getting up and starting all over. If it snowed, I woke up early enough to go dust off the car and drive it in and out of the parking lot so the head janitor would not realize I had never left. I often beat him to school an hour before the other teachers arrived, so my presence alone would not surprise him. But one day, he found me folding up my blanket, and he happened to be married to the Assistant Superintendent of the school district. Well as you can imagine, changes were quickly underway.

Not all new teachers have such an extreme story, but many do. I had four hundred art students in my charge as half my job and coordinated the elementary English language learners program for the other half of my job. Pairing school responsibilities with being a perfectionist, I did not take a whole lot of me time. Inexperience was also a big factor. I wasted plenty of hours being too tired to effectively use my time, but stayed at school feeling obligated to work harder for my students. I did not produce any personal art during the school year for at least two years, and it is still a rare event for me. If I had taken a few of those hours and repurposed them toward reenergizing myself with creative adventures, I wonder how differently I would have felt at the end of a day or year. As it was, I quit after three years of working exhaustively and have not taken on a full-time position since. I loved my work, my students and co-workers, but I did not maintain a healthy lifestyle or feel like an exemplary artist mentor to my students.